Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Tonight I am in total shock.

I took a pregnancy test 2 days ago and it was negative. But yesterday and today it was still all I could think about. Finally about 5pm I jumped in the car and ran to Walmart to buy another test. As soon as I got home I took it. Positive.

I can't really think of another time in my life when I have been in such an extreme state of shock. I wasn't really feeling positve emotions or negative ones...just shock. I had about 20 minutes until I expected Paul home from school. All I could think was, "Come home, Paul, come home." And all I could do was walk around the apartment staring at the test. I walked into the living room and stared at it. Walked into the bedroom and stared at it. Couldn't even sit down.

For years I've thought about how I would tell my husband that we were going to have a baby. Would I take him to some special place, or have a nice dinner together first. It would be something romantic and special, right? Well, here's how it went down:

Paul walks in the door and I'm standing there.
"Hi," says me.
"Hi," he replies.
"I took a pregnancy test."
"Oh. What did it say?"
Still in shock, I hold the test out for him to see. Of course, he doesn't know what the different lines mean.
"Since you're not saying anything it must be positive?"
I nod.

After that, I still was in total shock for a few minutes. Paul gave me a hug and I started crying. And that was my romantic way of telling him.

I guess we didn't make it to my birthday to start trying. This is definately a little sooner that we had planned. Paul finishes school the end of June and I think I am due the end of July. I am nearly 5 weeks pregnant today.

It is 2 days before Thanksgiving, when we are seeing Paul's family and my family. Paul said we should just tell everyone then, but I think it's too soon. I don't think I could handle people starting to ask us questions and all of their emotions when I don't even have mine sorted out yet. I guess we'll see what happens.


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